Where Are You? Gen 3:9

Well, Lord, I was on the mountaintop enjoying the fresh air and views with You. Freed from pastoral work in church, and able to do only what I love and want to do, I felt a new lease of life and vision. My physical health improved and the doctor took me off blood pressure pills. I enjoyed the slower pace of life, the simple joys of home-bound living during the two years of the covid pandemic, and enjoyed preaching in my home church and in other churches as well as in teaching missions. I received formation as a spiritual director with a wonderful community of brothers and sisters, many of whom became friends and fellow ministers. I was blessed by an ecumenical community of spiritual directors and religious who taught, formed and loved us. I tasted the privilege and joy of accompanying others in their journey of growth. Thank You, Lord, for a sweet retirement and transition in new avenues of ministry.

Lord, this year I found myself in the valley of distress and uncertainty when my wife was attacked by bacteria on her spine which caused unbearable pain for her, and anguish for me as I felt powerless to relieve that pain. Thankfully, even in the valleys of life, You are actively present. You gave me this verse in Isaiah 43:2, “When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you; when you walk through the fire you shall not be burned, and the flame shall not consume you.” You spoke and I was strengthened (Daniel 10:19).

My wife was in the ward and the community hospital for a total of 51 days. You were with her in her pain and her deliverance from it. She went through the spinal operation You granted us a godly surgeon, Dr Reuben Soh, and his skillful hands stabilized her spine and removed the cause of her pain. She had antibiotics infusion for weeks on end. You gave the infection specialist Dr Jean Sim the wisdom to treat my wife. It was a medical emergency and she was in grave danger, but You, O Lord, was with her, and today she is recovering well.  You moved many pastors, friends and my church family to pray and You heard and answered them: today she is well and no longer in pain. Lord, You are so good.

Lord, I thank you that now I am out of the valley and in the plains. My wife Jenny is at home getting stronger with her twice-a-week physiotherapy sessions at St Luke’s Hospital and she continues with an oral antibiotics course. I am less tired and at peace. I am also beginning to return to the routines and joys that were a part of my usual schedule.  I continue to preach and teach and this gives me joy. I continue to give spiritual direction to a few persons who want You to direct their lives. I have begun to edit and refine the first draft of an e-book that I have written. I was able to continue playing pickleball twice a week whenever possible. Beginning in May, I will be putting on my backpack and hiking shoes and preparing pilgrims for their camino in October 2024. Lord, You also answered one of my longstanding prayers as I did not know what course to use my Skills Future Credit on. Soon I will attend a course on Artificial Intelligence, and it will be conducted near my home too. Thank you for sending Susan who talked about and recommended the course and helped me to sign up.

Lord, I know there are some limits to ministry and meetings when they conflict with physiotherapy and medical appointments. These limits, I believe, are necessary and will only be temporary.  I believe Isaiah 43:2 and You will strengthen my wife and make her as active and healthy as before.

Lord, does this answer Your question?

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Fellowship of His sufferings

With Him in His sufferings
With Him in His sufferings

Nobody puts out the welcome mat for suffering. Most times it hits us and takes us by surprise. Sometimes we can anticipate the storm. Whichever way it happens, when you are in the midst of it you feel the pressure, pain, loss, hopelessness and fear.

Jesus said, “These things I have spoken to you, that in Me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world.”(John 16:33 NKJV)

There will always be tribulation or trouble, even for Christians. Jesus said it is because we live in this sinful and broken world that Christians too will suffer. We will not be exempted. The difference for Christians is that we have a pioneer who went ahead of us in the path of suffering. Jesus suffered for what He did not deserve. He was unjustly mistreated, tried and sentenced to death. His reputation was dragged in the mud and He lost his life in a torturous and humiliating way.  Yet He overcame in His suffering. Thus He understands those who go through suffering and is able to sympathize and support and supply them with the grace, faith, victory and wisdom needed. We have a companion in our suffering. It is a fellowship and sharing in suffering and victory that we should be aware of when tears and sorrow are our daily bread.

When you are undergoing great trials, see yourself in fellowship with Christ in your sufferings. He has overcome and so will you, when He is with you in it. It will be a great comfort and strength to your weary soul. Be of good cheer.

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Blogpastor interviews Job

Dr Richard Teo’s illness, suffering and death raised quite a few issues. So I just had to request this interview with Job. I had to sit in the waiting area of his spacious mansion. He had lots of people lined up for appointments wanting to fellowship with him. That is how well known he is to eternity’s residents. Many of them identified with his sufferings and felt an unusual bond with him. Finally I was ushered into the sitting room. He was alone. It was my chance to interview Job of the Old Testament.

God restored Job's family and his wealthDo you feel able to talk about your past painful experience? You know I don’t want to rehash painful memories unnecessarily.

JOB:  Healing takes place when you enter eternity. You still remember bits and pieces but they seem to be bathed in the light of God’s love and you see things very differently. It’s like you have new eyes to see all those old memories with,  and everything is reinterpreted with an aura of glory. Sure, I can talk about it without anguish, the way a mother recalls the laborious birth of her precious child.

I was a very wealthy man. My wealth and assets just kept increasing. God was prospering me left, right, centre, literally everything I touched. My children were living it up and never had to lift a finger to work. My wife had a life of ease. We were proud of our possessions and we had good stewards and servants who slaved for us. Many claimed us as their close friends and I was generous in helping the poor and distressed. Frankly, even powerful chieftains envied me and coveted my herds and popularity.

(He looked down, sighed, and shook his head slowly.)

So you were greatly blessed and felt grateful to God.

JOB:  Yes I attributed the great increase of my wealth and the many sons I have to God’s blessing on me and I faithfully thanked Him with sacrifices of animals. Lots of sacrificial offerings. Some of the things my children did disturbed me, and their behaviour may have offended God. So I prayed much for them too.

That’s why it hit me hard and perplexed me greatly when all the calamities struck. I am sure you have done your research and you know I lost everything in wave after wave of natural disasters and attacks. All my servants, my herds and flocks, my properties and my sons and daughters were all swept away in one massive desert storm. I didn’t know what struck me. I had no time to react. All was lost within a day. Only my wife and my life were spared. I could not sleep. I didn’t want to see anyone. I did not eat. I was weeping day and night. My trust in God was shaken like a tent against a storm. Emotionally, intellectually and spiritually, I shook. The worse was when I lost my health and contracted an unexplainable medical condition and even my wife of many decades left me. Somehow I clung on to God Almighty. The way I see it now, it must have been His grace at work.

It must have been inexpressibly difficult for you. Thanks for sharing your heart. Millions have read of your plight in the Bible and have found great comfort and hope in your story. It was a severe trial by fire. Did you try to make sense of what was happening?

JOB: Naturally I did. I kept asking myself, Why did this happen? What did I do wrong to deserve this? Did my children’s behaviour offend God and trigger this judgment? If God is almighty why doesn’t He stop the storm and the hale and the marauders? If He loved me, didn’t He want to protect me?

I had some friends who came to comfort me but they were all of the opinion that it was because I had failed or sinned in some way unknown to me to cause such scorching judgment to fall on me and my family. It was deeply hurting to hear and their arguments stung like a viper’s bite: God was righteous and He could do no wrong. It had to be my fault: I had somehow failed to walk in righteousness. But I have kept the faith. I have fulfilled all righteousness – ceremonial as well as moral – as best I could as an upright man. Surely God could see that! Yes I strained to justify my faith and righteousness. My friends had probably looked at all my self-justification and thought, What a proud and self-righteous fellow!

So you were not able to reach a kind of conclusion or closure to your unexplainable sufferings?

JOB:  Well, you could say I didn’t and you could say I did. You see I had this encounter with God. He blew me away with a list of questions that sort of meant, I am your Creator and the almighty, sovereign and wise God: all you need to do is to trust Me even when you do not fully understand what’s happening to you or around you.

And that was it? Did that untie the knots for you?

JOB:  Frankly it did not answer my intellectual questions. It just gave me peace in the midst of mystery. I remembered how after that revelation, I simply sat in bowed silence and awe for days before the Lord Almighty.  I lived the rest of my life in reverence of the mystery of life and in gratitude of God’s sovereign grace.

Did your perspective of what had happened change with time and in what way has it matured?

JOB:  Of course it has. But it was not a maturing. It’s just that I now live on another plane of existence, on the other side of eternity. I now see the cross. I fully apprehend the depth and height and breadth and length of the love of God in His great sufferings on our behalf. I cannot see the suffering Son and say He did not care or love us. No way. I experience His love and wisdom in a heavenly dimension continually. I see all my past painful sufferings through the eyes of one who had been bathed in this pool of His incredible love and joy. There is no room in my heart for accusation or doubt or resentment of Him. Questions that bugged me when I was a child and thought like a child, rapidly dissipated like vapour in heaven’s air.

Did you say or do anything that you later regarded as childish or immature thinking on your part?

JOB:  Yes of course. My understanding of God was quite mechanistic, I suppose: If I am righteous, He will bless me, and nothing bad will happen. I had everything figured out in philosophical formulae. There was no allowance for mystery and the unexplainable in my life.

Some people in my generation think that you suffered because you feared specifically that all those terrible things would happen, and that’s why it came upon you: you sort of opened the door to evil in your life by your fears.

JOB:  I was afraid and I had my anxieties and exaggerated ideas of the worse that can happen to my family and business.  If such weaknesses opened the door to evil then I suppose there are millions of believers who would have such severe trials in their lives continually.   Since being on this side of eternity I have seen that God is greater than our darkest fears and He faithfully extends His hands of grace to his fearful and anxious ones as well .

May I ask what were your highest and lowest points in life?

JOB: The lowest point was when my wife gave up and left me. That came when I was already depressed.

My highest point? There were quite a few. The revelation I received from God of His attributes. Seeing how God restored my wealth double and gave me a new family.  However the highest point surely was being ushered into eternity and meeting Him face to face. Nothing could beat that!

What kept you going despite all the losses and pain?

JOB: I had this basic trust in God, and I did not want to die.

Having gone through such a severe trial, what advice would you give to those going through similar ordeals?

JOB:  Not so much of advice because advice does not really help people undergoing such profound suffering. They would need loving listening friends to be with them. I pray that people going through such severe trial will not lose hope in God. When they finally do feel that they have lost their hold of faith and hope, may they surrender and rest in His ability to uphold them.

My wish for them is that they would pray, Father I do not understand why this is happening, but I trust Your love and wisdom and power. You will work out all things for our good and for Your greater glory.

Would you want to go through such suffering again?

JOB:  Are you kidding?

Job, thanks for sharing these heavenly gems with us who continue to live in a fallen world full of pain and sufferings. We do not see as clearly as you do because we cling ever so tightly to our possessions and life as we know it.

JOB: You are welcome. Shalom my friend, see you an instant. I hope you know what I mean. Over here there is no sense of time.

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