Three Steps Forward, Two Steps Backward

I was given a warm welcome at the sanctuary on Sunday. It was my first time preaching in my home church after six months of rest. I was glad to do so. Sadly, there was no on-site congregation, as the pastoral team had decided that the sustained spike in Covid 19 cases, and the government tightening of rules made it wise for them to return to streaming the worship service without on-site congregation. 

Initially, I was informed to wear a mask while preaching. I tested different masks at home because if the sound was muffled, people will switch off rather quickly. I found a mask of spongy material that did not muffle my voice. However, by Saturday night I was informed that the authorities allowed speaking and singing by two singers without masks on if there is no on-site congregation. I felt such relief, because the mask is a barrier to effective communication.

AWKWARD TO PREACH TO EMPTY SEATS

It still felt awkward preaching to an empty church. Later when I checked out the recording online, I could see that my preaching was smooth and the awkwardness I felt was not disruptive nor disturbed the flow of the delivery. 

I counted five in the worship team and seven in the audio and media team. I felt for them. They have been fantastic in their commitment and stamina. They are so professional in their attitude and spirit even though they are all volunteers. I praise God for them, especially Zephaniah who leads the media team and Ethel who leads the worship ministry. The Lord will not forget the works they have done in his name and for the church. 

FEELING FOR BUSINESS OWNERS AND PASTORAL STAFF

I noticed the traffic was lighter than usual due to the government’s strict directives to curb the spread of covid 19, especially the rule of no dine-in and social groups limited to only two. Human traffic at malls and restaurants would be affected too. A lot of businesses would be affected besides malls and F&B and entertainment establishments. I feel for the business owners. 

This setback is three steps forward and two steps backward. Before I retired, the church was streaming services with no on-site congregation. Then things improved and the church returned to on-site worship of our three congregations of 50 to 100, office staff meetings and prayer meetings and even prayer retreats. It was two steps forward and I even solemnised a wedding with a hundred guests in attendance. Then suddenly this frustrating announcement of a pull back to stricter Phase 2 precautions. Of all days, on a Friday. Which meant the stressed pastoral staff had to make a judgment call, and implement and communicate all the changes in 48 hours. They cancelled the on-site congregation worship on Sunday. I feel for the pastoral team. It can be draining, discouraging and frustrating to rapidly respond to all these sudden changes. Two steps backward. 

I also feel for those who had already planned wedding receptions and dinners on Sunday, two days before the announcements. The ups and downs, and back and forth, that wedding couples face will make what is meant to be one of their happiest memories, a nightmare, and their honeymoon a pity-party. Lord, have mercy and brighten these couples with a quiet peace and joy to sustain them in the midst of discouragement and helplessness.

THE LORD SITS ENTHRONED

Regardless of how we feel, we have to believe in the face of all this mess that “the Lord sits enthroned over the flood” (Psalm 29:10). Floods can be chaotic and disruptive and destructive but the Psalmist saw God as Sovereign over uncontrollable forces. We are still one step ahed from where we were during the circuit breaker lock-down. We have much to give thanks for compared to other countries struggling with larger populations and lesser resources and weaker governance. Therefore, stay calm and keep praying and walking in the Spirit. Rejoice in the Lord, and not in the sad situation we find ourselves in. Rejoice that He sits enthroned over the flood. 

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How To Worship Without Singing

We are currently in phase 3 of Covid-19 guidelines. I see the worship leaders singing and preacher speaking without masks but with social distancing strictly adhered to. The congregation participates in worship but without singing. How do you worship without singing? I suggest a few ways to do it.

Firstly, get it clear. Worship may include singing but singing is not worship. Worship is essentially surrender of our whole selves as a living sacrifice to God, for him to use or lay aside or dispose of as he pleases (Rom 12:1,2) . Without this essential heart posture whatever you do, and whatever use of bodily expressions, including singing, is not worship. So first things first: begin with a prayer of surrender, for example, “Our Father, who is in heaven, hallowed be your name. Your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven” or “Lord, here I am, your servant is listening” or “Lord let it be done to me according to your word” or “Father, not my will but your will be done” or “Father, into your hands, I commit my spirit.” I think you get the idea.

Use all your senses. With your eyes look at the lyrics and scriptures and notice the words, phrase or image that strike you. With your ears listen to what is being sung, said, or played and notice what it stirs in you. Mouth the lyrics or scripture under your breath, under your mask, or even quietly speak or sing in your prayer language. Let your feet move and body sway as the worship leaders sing, and use your uplifted arms as an expression of surrender and praise to God. Take out your wallet or mobile when its time to give of your finances to the Lord.

As the preacher speaks, take note of what desires, ideas, memories or feeling are stirred in you and respond to them in appropriate ways, whether to repent, commit yourself, resolve to trust, or take a certain action, to follow an inspiring example or to give thanks and pray for yourself or others.

Follow all the instructions and precautionary guidelines diligently. This is part of worship. Smile. They cannot see your mouth under the mask, but your eyes does smile, and give eye contact because eyes communicate warmth too.

Top all these with a meal together with others, and share about the ups and downs of the past week, and what God has done for you and in you. This too is part of worship for in our sharing we praise God and others who hear our thanksgiving, join us in their amens.

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I Am Grateful For 2020

MENACING PANDEMIC

Covid-19 has cast a menacing shadow on the year 2020. It is the year of the pandemic. 1,816,120 deaths from Covid 19 in 2020, and these are only reported cases. 83, 260,611 infected, of which 59,049,598 have recovered. These statistics are bad, mad and sad. Singapore had also been in the valley of shadow of death. Anxiety, fear and frustration are the moods of the year. However, I do not want to dwell on these tragic details in this post. We are all familiar with the roll call of facts about the source, spread and devastation of the coronavirus. Rather, this post is about my personal reflection of 2020. Despite the darkness, I have experienced much of God’s abundance and redemptive grace. I have much to be grateful for. 

REDEMPTIVE GRACE & ABUNDANCE

For one, my whole family is back in Singapore. For a while my wife and I were empty nesters with my son Joshua and his wife Ping studying in London, my second son Matthew serving the air forces in Australia with his wife and our two grandkids, and my daughter Elaine working in the USA. In 2019 my two sons returned with their families, and as if that wasn’t wonderful enough, my daughter was allowed to work from home in Singapore from March 2020. We were prepared to quarantine her at home but the hour she landed in the airport she was briskly brought straightaway to the Grand Park Orchard for government imposed and paid quarantine for two weeks. What a blessing and relief to know she was totally well. 

Elaine works from afternoon to about 1am Singapore time and meets her office colleagues remotely at night. Then she would sleep in but we get to see her for meals like lunch and dinner and some weekends. It was wonderful to have her around. Now I wonder when she will be recalled back to her office in Washington DC. Hopefully she won’t be recalled until June 2021. 

YEAR OF LEARNING & EQUIPPING

I am also grateful that the Covid 19 circuit breaker period and the months after necessitated the learning of new digital skills that I never had before. Speaking to an empty room with only a phone camera in front of me is something I have become comfortable with. I have also become strangely comfortable reviewing my talks on video. I used to squirm and switch off when I watched myself preach on video. Not so any more. I have also learned to use Zoom for meetings, as well as teach a Christian Education course. I can see possibilities in using these digital platforms. In the larger picture, the churches here have moved from being digital laggards to progressives, and this is a big, big positive in terms of future digital presence.

It has also forced me to purchase stuff online, mainly from Lazada. It began with buying necessary equipment to improve my recording of sermons and digital presence. Soon I moved on to stuff like bicycle lamps and camera lens that I wanted for my hobbies, to frivolous stuff like buying a linen shirt for dirt cheap price for the experience of it. I learned that when it comes to clothing, it’s better to visit the shopping mall. 

SWEET RETIREMENT BY GOD’S GRACE

I am grateful that my retirement after 40 years of pastoral ministry in the same church was done sweetly. I am thankful that a home-grown church servant, Alvin Lim had been called by God to serve as the English Congregation pastor, and he willingly obeyed. I feel privileged to have seen God’s hand in forming a team of young people in full-time and part-time ministry, and weaving them with the more experienced staff. All this made it possible for me to step down as senior pastor with peace of mind. It was also a quiet but pleasant send-off with words of affirmation and good wishes, from the President and church leaders and members, and prayers of the three congregational pastors. All pre-recorded before a live audience and screened later for people to view on-line. I was feeling joyful during the recording of that segment, which was done straight after, the pre-recording of the ordination of service of Rev Alvin Lim on a Saturday morning.  Very joyful and moving occasions when I sensed a strong anointing of God’s Spirit.

I was also grateful for the final retreat I would have as a senior pastor. Lance Ng, my spiritual director guided me to reflect on the 40 years of pastoral ministry and the desires that the Spirit is stirring within me with regards to the future. Co-discerning what God is saying and doing is so vital and that is the spiritual director’s role. I was excited with the desires of my heart that surfaced during that five days of silent delighting in the Lord at Life Springs Spirituality Centre. I have been giving God a blank page for post-retirement, refusing to plan but instead to wait on Him, and the Lord has started to reveal the steps I am to take after retirement. Exciting new chapter.

SUMMARY

To summarize, although 2020 was a “negative” year in terms of the adverse effects on mental health, the economy, jobs, separation and loss of loved ones, and the surfacing of ugly politics, for me personally God has graciously allowed me to experience his abundance, guidance and preparation for the future. Oddly I will remember 2020 rather fondly because I see too many positives for myself and my family and the church– the lot has fallen nicely for us.

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