Dealing With Inner Noise During Prayer

“It felt like monkeys jumping from branches to branches. More than one monkey.” The person was talking about the experience of preparing to pray and meditate. This is common and something we need to expect and learn to stay calm about, take action and carry on. 

THE CHALLENGE OF INNER NOISE

Our mind is like a river carrying floating dry leaves across our mind in an endless stream. Many of these thoughts are insignificant and lightweight and could be ignored with a mere switch off in our soul. They merely come and disappear as quickly as the stream of water passing by. 

The difficulty is when these thoughts, ideas, problems, burdens, emotions, experiences swirl around. It could be your mind trying to solve a problem, flirting with a new idea, remembering something that needed to be done, someone to call, feeling a mood or dominant emotion that suddenly surfaces onto consciousness, or worries and concerns that weigh on you, or a difficult decision to make. They keep pestering. They refuse to leave. Like a float you push underwater, they pop up again and again. If we do not do something with them we might end up totally focused on these matters, feeling spent at the end of all the thinking, and feeling drawn away from God’s life-giving presence. 

TWO METHODS TO HANDLE “MONKEYS”

There are two methods for handling this. One is to make a record of them in a journal, notebook or phone. Record them with the intention of getting back to them later after you have given yourself to meditation and prayer. Giving them a place of existence, a number in the queue, will placate them, or rather re-assure yourself that these matters will be taken up and will not be forgotten. It gives you peace of mind since they have been set apart safely to be looked at later. This is a prayer aid that will help you focus on meditation of God’s word and prayer first. When you later come back after prayer, to the list to discuss them with the Lord, you may find that the meditation you had was timely in giving you a timely word or godly perspective, and the prayer time had strengthened your faith to view the list differently.

A second way is to pray through and discuss with the Lord all the items you have recorded before going into your meditation of the word and prayer. This is particularly good when the first method was futile as you kept thinking about the problem or your swirling emotions and desire refused to be calmed. Let these problems, burdens, emotions and desires be the subject of your conversation and discussion with the Lord. As you talk to the Lord as a friend speaks to a friend, you will find that it is not mere monologue but an exchange is going on. Thoughts and inspiration and ideas and perspectives may dawn on you in prayer. New desires and self-control may overtake your anxious, angry and greedy soul. You may find that this alone had taken all the time you had allotted and there is no time for meditation on his word. It does not matter. You have prayed. You have had communion with the Lord.

I am sure there are other useful methods readers have tried. I am sure if you take some time to share what worked for you, it would be of help to other pray-ers too. The comment button is below the title of this blogpost.

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Scientific Proof of My Maternal Lineage

When I first heard of it I was intrigued and excited. Scientific proof. My eldest brother said his genome profile is 86.3% Chinese DNA and 13.7% Malay DNA.  Most of the time, our knowledge of our lineage is based on records in Mandarin script, or on hearsay and anecdotes of parents and relatives, and old photographs or inherited family heirloom. When my eldest brother announced casually to the siblings about scientific proof, it came with the force of irrefutable fact. All along my mum had told us we have Peranakan lineage. We believed it. I mean our mum couldn’t be wrong on this. I never got to see my grandparents or great grandparents at all – they passed away before I was born. I took it for granted that I was Chinese from my dad’s side and Peranakan from my mum’s side. Now its fact. 

HOW IT HAPPENED

My eldest brother, Colin Chee, is the current President of The Singapore Peranakan Association(TPAS). The Genome Institute of Singapore (GIS) collaborated with the Peranakan Association in a genome study project. They collected blood samples from 177 volunteer members (of which my brother is one) of the association and other community members in 2018, studied them, and got their research accepted for publication in the Molecular Biology and Evolution academic journal published by Oxford University Press. The analysis concluded that 90% of volunteers had an average of 90% Chinese DNA and 10 % Malay DNA. The rest showed 100% Chinese DNA.

Colin wrote in the association news: “The study is a revelation. To TPAS, the project’s findings have, for the very first time, given scientific credence to our community’s family oral histories and the smattering of early travellers’ eye-witness reports that the Peranakans are descended from the mixed unions of early traders from China, India and even Europe with local Malay women in Southeast Asia. This does not mean those with 100% Chinese DNA are any less Peranakan than those with mixed Chinese-Malay DNAs”. (Read the full writeup HERE).

Our two living aunties, Lily and Florence (aged 95 and 87), both insisted that our ancestry is Dayak blood. Our maternal grandparents all lived in Kuching, Sarawak. Well, Dayak is a general term for those indigenous tribal peoples from the interior of Borneo who then moved to the coastal areas and some have mingled with or have been absorbed into the Malay population. I do not know what to make of this but having grown up to trust scientific research, I will have to accept what science concluded. I do not know if genome grids have a separate category for Dayaks or if they are all subsumed under Malay. This is one for the scientists to give the final answer. Our paternal grandparents both emigrated from Fuzhou in 1893, the provincial capital of Fujian Province in China. You can read more about this in an earlier piece I wrote HERE.

SO WHAT? 

What were the implications of this knowledge for me? For one thing, I have begun to make all kinds of illogical connections between my 13% Malay DNA and my affinity with Malay food, Malay language and culture. “Maybe that is why I like lontong, rendang, mee rebus, nasi lemak and nasi padang (but so do many other Singaporean Chinese with 100% Chinese DNA)”. “Maybe that was why I bought Indonesian language learning tools and Bible, and tried to opt my children into Malay instead of Mandarin classes in school but was not permitted by the Ministry of Education policy (but this could merely be because I wanted to spare my children the trauma I experienced trying to learn Mandarin)”. Well you get the point. I was trying to connect all kinds of dots. 

On the positive side, I am now interested in knowing more about this unexplored side of my ancestry. I have mostly seen myself as a Hokkien Chinese. Now I need to learn more about my Peranakan roots.

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Breathe slow, breathe deep

One of the things I learned from being in prayer retreats is the importance of a rested body to prayer. I would be encouraged by the spiritual director to settle in and relax, take walks and sleep as much as I needed. He knew from experience that many Singaporeans who came for retreats were usually tense, wound up, and drained. To start praying with such a state of mind and body would be counter-productive. A day or two would be needed to unwind, sleep well, and eat well and be in a better state to be alert and to pray.

Like it or not we are not mere spirit beings. We have a body as well, and it affects our emotions, mental concentration and spiritual alertness. I learned that I prayed better when I was better rested. I attended better to the Scriptures, meditation, and prayer. 

When this learning is applied to my regular prayer and meditation it meant that I usually gave some time for slowing down, quieting myself, and to let myself dial down physically by taking slow and deep breaths for several minutes, typically ten minutes, sometimes for double that. I would consciously slow down my breathing and would seek to be more conscious of God’s presence with me before I start my reading or meditation of scriptures or other spiritual exercise. 

When I first started out on this practice I would set my timer to ten minutes of silence and deep breathing. I did this because my temptation would be to quickly get productive and efficient and finish my “quiet time” or “lectio divina”. The timer held me back from diving straight in before I was in a better place to be receptive to God. 

Moses was 40 days in the mountain before God revealed Himself and gave him the ten commandments. Couldn’t God do it more quickly? Wouldn’t three days be sufficient? I do not have a definitive answer. Perhaps God was ready to give Moses the ten commandments but Moses was not ready to receive the revelation. Just a thought.

Try this out. It is an aid to prayer. Unwind. Relax. Breathe slowly and deeply for ten minutes or more if needed. Before you read, meditate, reflect or pray. 

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