Spirituality and ageing – Page 3

Category: Spirituality and ageing

Marie Kondo season now

9 December 2020 blogpastor Leave a comment

The Marie Kondo season has come. Re-organize, give away, say “Thank you” and “Goodbye” to old stuff.

This is not because of the approaches of Christmas and Lunar New Year ahead. It is simply that now that I have retired, I have been freed of many of the church ministry “To Do List” priority items, that kept many of the household duties and tasks awaiting my attention. Now that those items at the top have been removed, those at the bottom are nearer the top, and gets my attention.

Ministry work stretched the intellectual and psychological. Preparing and preaching the sermon and trainings, evaluating and planning the worship services, facilitating meetings for planning, strategizing, reconciling, and supervising have all required the investment of spiritual, mental and emotional energies.

Therefore, I welcome this Marie Kondo season, this season of mainly physical work with my hands. It moves me towards a wholeness and awareness of things I see, touch, smell and handle. It can be mind-boggling to figure out the best place to store stuff. Yes, sometimes I struggle emotionally to say thank you and goodbye to old pre-loved stuff that served me so well. Yet overall I find a satisfaction in seeing rapid tangible results (in contrast to trying to solve church problems like late-coming worshippers): the room became tidy, the display looked pretty, the cupboards began to breathe, I see the changes and congratulate myself, “Well done!”.

I had a list of 29 things to do of which 9 have been done. Twenty more awaits my attention. One of them is painting the ceilings of the whole house, and the walls of two or three bedrooms. This will probably take the longest time, as I will do this in stages. I am no longer the 30 year old new house-owner who could paint the living room in half-a-day! And I belong to the generation that would rather save money and do the painting myself, rather than hire professionals to do it.

Its burdensome when I look at the list. But if I see it as part as my movement towards wholeness, towards development of the under-developed part of my person – the sensory – it helps cast a redemptive light on the strain and load. My mantra is “This is good for me”.

Lord, help me to see you in these mundane and dreary tasks. After all, You once worked with your hands and made things. You did it with pride and an eye to your Father’s praise. Help me to see You in all things, and to find meaning in doing the most uncomfortable, dirty, odious of chores.

Grieving about retirement

7 October 2020 blogpastor 2 Comments

In the early months of this year, I was looking forward to retirement. I looked forward to being free from the burdens and pressures of pastoral ministry. Forty years in the same church is a lengthy term of service and I do feel weary and tired towards the end. I was also curious to see what my spirituality would look like without ministry to drive or shape it. I want to be a child of God period. So it was something I was anticipating with some relish.

However, recently I have come to notice something of a sadness that seem undetectable, under the radar, like background music in the shopping malls. It is there but I am oblivious to it. Until someone mentions about the music, or I am waiting without any cares, I wouldn’t be aware of the music. This almost imperceptible sadness has stayed unnoticed in me for some time. I even thought it was some kind of spiritual dryness. I am still unsure. I need to further reflect on this with the Lord.

It is highly probable because when anyone experience losses like what happens at retirement – the person goes through the various stages of loss: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and finally acceptance. Like it or not, retirement is a form of loss: loss of the job satisfaction it gives and a shared life with friends and colleagues; loss of respect and appreciation you enjoyed, and a defined role in the community; the loss of income and medical benefits, and a stable rhythm of work, rest and play. I am sure more can be listed (feel free to add to this list in the comment, if you wish).

Last week I had my final staff meeting with the Mandarin congregation(see above picture). Yesterday, I had my final meeting with the English congregation staff. Today, I wrap up my final zoom meeting with the Deaf congregation staff. What is left is the Board of Elders, and the Senior Pastor’s Office meetings. It was like saying “Goodbye” to these places of joy and hope, ambiguity and difficulty. On the whole, more good things happened in these places than bad. So I praise the Lord for the opportunity to serve in this way in “committees”, though I wouldn’t want to be in them in future, unless the Lord insists, which He wouldn’t. Like I told the church, I don’t want to be in the organization chart, but I am still in the organism and community chart.

What do you plan to do after retirement?

17 August 2020 blogpastor Leave a comment

What will you do after retirement? I am beginning to get more questions like this. Maybe it is because I announced it officially on our 48th church anniversary service, and I have talked about this with friends for some time now.

It is not an easy question to answer. It is not easy because I really do not have any plans. And I usually would have some plans. After all, I am Singaporean. Not this time though. I am determined to leave God with a blank page and let Him fill it at His divine pleasure and leisure. When I last thought of quitting, I had a logical plan of what I will do in the next chapter of my life albeit in broad strokes. It is unlike me to have to say, No I have no plans. I am going to give God a blank page, wait on Him, and let Him fill it at His leisure. I will wait patiently on God. “For You alone O Lord my soul waits in silence, from Him is my salvation” (Ps 62.1).

I don’t want to be thought of as irresponsible or over-spiritual or impractical – so heavenly minded that I am of no earthly use. It’s my pride, I suppose. I want to look good, smart and responsible – a good and faithful steward. If I had a sensible and inspiring five year plan to rattle off in an elevator speech – people would think, He really thought it through. He is so thorough. They would envy me. To say, I have no plans except to rest and wait till the Lord add to my empty plate at His leisure, is risky. My church friends and colleagues will say, When are you going to help us? We need you to fill this gap and that gap! This is tough – to be not helping when my help is needed. To even be misunderstood by my own church colleagues and friends, if God is silent for a long time. What if the pages remain blank for months? I don’t want to be forgotten. I don’t want to be seen as unhelpful. Lord help me to say, “No I have no plans”, when people ask me THAT question. Give me Your grace and power.

This is not a retirement rule for all believers but it is for me because God is inviting me to live this way – without a certain and sure plan. It could be called the Abrahamic plan. Maybe for you, a detailed or rough plan is a necessity and that may be His intention for you. Not for me this time round. We are all unique, and are all developing in different areas of our life, and God is moving us towards wholeness in different ways. For me trusting God’s providence with my future, without any visible regular support or ministry plans is what God wants to develop in me. In a pastorate, this was an issue in the beginning – the need for faith for finances. But this has not been the case since my children graduated and went on to have jobs. The acute need for finances has ceased for many years.