Spirituality – Page 23

Category: Spirituality

What do you plan to do after retirement?

17 August 2020 blogpastor Leave a comment

What will you do after retirement? I am beginning to get more questions like this. Maybe it is because I announced it officially on our 48th church anniversary service, and I have talked about this with friends for some time now.

It is not an easy question to answer. It is not easy because I really do not have any plans. And I usually would have some plans. After all, I am Singaporean. Not this time though. I am determined to leave God with a blank page and let Him fill it at His divine pleasure and leisure. When I last thought of quitting, I had a logical plan of what I will do in the next chapter of my life albeit in broad strokes. It is unlike me to have to say, No I have no plans. I am going to give God a blank page, wait on Him, and let Him fill it at His leisure. I will wait patiently on God. “For You alone O Lord my soul waits in silence, from Him is my salvation” (Ps 62.1).

I don’t want to be thought of as irresponsible or over-spiritual or impractical – so heavenly minded that I am of no earthly use. It’s my pride, I suppose. I want to look good, smart and responsible – a good and faithful steward. If I had a sensible and inspiring five year plan to rattle off in an elevator speech – people would think, He really thought it through. He is so thorough. They would envy me. To say, I have no plans except to rest and wait till the Lord add to my empty plate at His leisure, is risky. My church friends and colleagues will say, When are you going to help us? We need you to fill this gap and that gap! This is tough – to be not helping when my help is needed. To even be misunderstood by my own church colleagues and friends, if God is silent for a long time. What if the pages remain blank for months? I don’t want to be forgotten. I don’t want to be seen as unhelpful. Lord help me to say, “No I have no plans”, when people ask me THAT question. Give me Your grace and power.

This is not a retirement rule for all believers but it is for me because God is inviting me to live this way – without a certain and sure plan. It could be called the Abrahamic plan. Maybe for you, a detailed or rough plan is a necessity and that may be His intention for you. Not for me this time round. We are all unique, and are all developing in different areas of our life, and God is moving us towards wholeness in different ways. For me trusting God’s providence with my future, without any visible regular support or ministry plans is what God wants to develop in me. In a pastorate, this was an issue in the beginning – the need for faith for finances. But this has not been the case since my children graduated and went on to have jobs. The acute need for finances has ceased for many years.

The Examen in original words of St Ignatius

8 July 2020 blogpastor Leave a comment

The examen is one of the prayer methods used by retreatants to help them be aware of sins in their daily life. It was one of the prayer methods mentioned in the Spiritual Exercises of St Ignatius, a manual for spiritual directors guiding people through about 30 days of solitude and prayer and meditations on the life of Christ. The original method has since been modified for contemporary use in many creative ways. The contemporary ones have a greater “God consciousness” in the reflection without the heavier emphasis on “sin consciousness” of the original method.

Here is the English translation (Puhl) of note number 43 of the Spiritual Exercises of St Ignatius (original in Spanish):

Method of Making the General Examination of Conscience notation 43 (SE)

There are five points in this method

The first point is to give thanks to God our Lord for the favors received.
The second point is to ask for grace to know my sins and to rid myself of them.
The third point is to demand an account of my soul from the time of rising up to the present examination. I should go over one hour after another, one period after another. The thoughts should be examined first, then the words, and finally, the deeds in the same order as was explained under the Particular Examination of Conscience.
The fourth point will be to ask pardon of God our Lord for my faults.
The fifth point will be to resolve to amend with the grace of God. Close with an Our Father.

Knowing your limits

20 June 2020 blogpastor Leave a comment

There is faith and there is prudence, and then there is wisdom to know the difference. As a Pentecostal I am fully aware of how our faith can break down limits the world sets upon us. However, I often forget the limits God places on us in kingdom positioning, assignment and anointing. There are measures of faith and grace. God sets the limit. Even our physical bodies has limits.

I forgot my physical limits and suffered for about three weeks. My wife and I were walking the park connector near our home. Staying home during the pandemic meant putting on weight and feeling lethargic. We wanted to burn some serious calories by doing a lengthy walk – a three hours walk along the Ulu Pandan Park connector.

I had felt a niggle on my left foot. Since I was a seasoned hiker, I ignored it. After all this was not an arduous hike up Bukit Timah Hill but simply a walk on flat paths. It should be alright. But alright it was not. Two days later my Achilles’ tendon was inflamed and I could not rest my left foot on the ground because of intense pain. I must confess this was not the first time when I over extended myself and found myself moving around the house on a chair with rollers.

The polyclinic appointment schedule was full all the time. I had no choice but to self-medicate. As I said, this was not the first time. I roughly knew it would take about a week to fully recover and regain my mobility. It was okay because I can still work from home. I was supposed to start recording my sermons in church, but couldn’t because I couldn’t walk. Not even from the home to my carpark. So my wife helped me record my sermon from home. – God bless her she had to serve me as I was virtually immobile.

What worsened things was I had a fall after a shower. I tried to hop on one foot over a low threshold but slipped and sprained of all places, the ankle of my left foot already inflamed at the heel. I suppose it was good to have all the pain on the left so at least my right foot was okay.

Reminds me of what St Paul said about how every member of the Body of Christ is vital to the full functioning and health of the whole. So too each member needs to be healthy and functioning to obey the Head and do God’s will.

Now I can walk on both feet – with a slight limp and with my left foot not fully flexible. I am very grateful to God, for when the pain was at its worse I would cry our earnestly for the Lord to have mercy and to heal. He has heard my cry. No instant miracle but a slow gradual healing, so that I could reflect of what wisdom He wants to impart to me and for me only.

Who knows, maybe this applies to you too? But I am convinced its for me. I NEED TO ACKNOWLEDGE MY PHYSICAL LIMITS AND GIVE ATTENTION TO THEM. At 64, I cannot run around the basketball court for hours. I cannot jump as I hard as I used to when I was 17 years old. Not even do what I used to do ten years ago, when hiking mountains and hopping downhill like a mountain goat. I must build up and condition my body from one level of intensity to the next gradually. I must also do proper warm-ups and warm-downs. These have to be mandatory. I used to be able to escape punishment from ignoring these – but not any more. I must listen to my body. My body is telling me but my memory is refusing to listen. My memory tells me, Come on, you have climbed mountains – what is this? A walk in the park. I forget my body is no longer as physically in tip-top condition like it was 10 years back . Back then I was training regularly and my legs were conditioned to take a lot of punishment. Not any more.

When I get well, and I am able to walk without the slightest tinge of pain. I will need to patiently and gradually build up the distance and intensity my legs will be able to cope with. No more sudden Increases in kilometres or incline. And proper warm-ups too. It may be weeks before I hike Bukit Timah Hill again. Maybe months, but I hope not. I fear that I would never hike the hills again.

I treasure mobility. I appreciate being able to walk free from pain. This is priceless.

Have you ever learned a similar lesson of accepting your limits? Share your story in the comment below.