Contemplative prayer

Category: Contemplative prayer

Lenten Soul Care Retreat @ TTC

12 March 2025 blogpastor 4 Comments

I have never been to Trinity Theological College for a retreat. They had been doing retreats for a few years before COVID-19 halted them. Now the college has resumed them, and they plan to do four retreats a year, God willing. Rev. Dr. Jimmy Tan and Rev. Dr. Niam were the retreat leaders, and Kim Lee Sue and I were supporting spiritual directors of this retreat from the 7th to the 8th of March 2025.

I was not ready for what was ahead. I studied in the old grounds at Mount Sophia. Even then, I stayed out since I was married. TTC has since moved to its new premises at Upper Bukit Timah, next to the Hillview MRT station. Its sprawling grounds hold a few entities: TTC, the St Francis School, Bukit Panjang Methodist Church (English), and Methodist School of Music. Furthermore, the campus was built on slopes so moving around demands patience.

In the past, I went to TTC mainly to do research in the Library. Besides the beautiful library, I know the carpark, the office, toilets, the sanctuary and the school café. During the orientation, I was shown the hostel rooms, the students’ cafeteria, the serene St Peter’s Hall chapel and guided to my room, I felt disoriented. However, after a while I adjusted to the surroundings and found my bearings.

I loved the times in the chapel. There is a sacred ambience that invites you to be silent and to pray. There were many other places where you could pray. Dairy Farm Park is a minute’s walk away, and within the premises, nature reminds us that it is near too: we can hear beautiful bird songs.

The team designed the retreat with the new retreatants in mind so they could ease into solitude, silence and prayer. There was a good balance of periods when we meditated and prayed together, with times for solitude and prayer. Meditations were on the theme of “Through the Wilderness, Towards the Cross” and were based on Isaiah 55. Each retreatant saw a spiritual director once a day during this two-day retreat, which began at 8.30am on Friday and ended at 5pm on Saturday.

We were blessed with superb meals during this retreat. We were expecting meals in plastic bento sets, but we were surprisingly given fine food plated stylishly. We were so thankful that Maple Catering went beyond what was agreed.

I had a meaningful time sitting with retreatants in all the sessions. The guided meditations inspired me to reflect deeply and pray honestly. The spiritual direction went well even though the rooms were not completely suitable.

On reflection, I was inspired and blessed as a participant in the guided meditations and prayer. I look forward to the next Retreats@TTC. If you wish to be informed of future retreats, the email contact is info@ttc.edu.sg

If you wish to register for the next Retreats@TTC, an Easter Soul Care Retreat click HERE

A Year of Pruning and Fruitfulness: Reflecting on 2024

6 January 2025 blogpastor 2 Comments

This has been a satisfying and exciting year for me. If you had asked me earlier in the year, I would not have said so. Upon reflection, I see patterns that give meaning and joy to my journey.

I read my journal leisurely, covering a quarter each time. After reading, I took notes of repetitions, prayers, desires, laments, and anything that stayed on my mind. I noted my reactions, feelings, gratitude, and pain points. After collating these notes, I prayerfully reflected and saw two main themes of what God did in my life in 2024: pruning and fruitfulness. “…every branch that does bear fruit he prunes, that it may bear more fruit” (John 15:2 ESV).

Trials and triumphs

This year has been personally trying for both my wife and me. My wife was in the hospital for 51 days due to a bacterial infection that affected her spine. It required several months of antibiotics and a spine operation for her to be completely well and able to resume her active life. God’s grace was upon us, and the verse that comforted me during my wife’s illness was fulfilled. “When you pass through the waters I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you. When you walk through fire you shall not be burned and the flame shall not consume you” (Isaiah 43:2 ESV). It meant that my wife would go through this difficult trial but would not be harmed and would come out fine. Praise the Lord, that was exactly what happened.

In the third quarter, I experienced several weeks of pain in my right back shoulder and arms. It was so bad in the first few days that I found it difficult to sleep. An X-ray indicated some narrowing of C3, and C4 causing nerve pains. I was given muscle relaxants, plasters, and referrals to a physiotherapist and spine specialist. The stages of my healing went from intense pain to annoying pain to irritation pain to finally vanished pain.

Besides the medicine, there was a spiritual aspect to the healing. “This poor man cried, and the Lord heard him and saved him out of all his troubles” (Psalm 34:6). This poor man also asked many pastor friends and church friends to pray for him. The Lord also gave me a verse that brought me to my knees in contrition. “Before I was afflicted, I went astray, but now I keep your word” (Psalm 119:67). It was a time when the Lord opened my eyes to my sinfulness and poverty. I experienced a mini-revival: “The instructions of the Lord are perfect, reviving the soul” (Psalm 19:7). By the time of my physiotherapy appointment, I was completely pain-free and decided to skip the specialist appointment.

The pruning yielded more fruit. The Lord God is the gardener, and he prunes the branch that bears fruit so that it bears more fruit. My soul was stretched, stitched, healed, and revived. Even amid painful trials, God was present, and I saw his providence, provision, interventions, empowerment, and many answers to prayers.

Fruitful year

I noticed a few answered prayers about the book I was writing. God gave me the grace to edit and sometimes rewrite my draft, professional help to design the book cover, and publishing guidance and assistance from a Tung Ling classmate. My pastor friends read the draft and gave me their comments and endorsements of the book. I was elated at the sudden spurt of progress and saw God’s hand upon it.

I also saw more fruit and expansion in itinerant preaching and spiritual direction. God kept opening doors and giving me opportunities in both of these ministries.

It was a joy to have my adult children and grandchildren return from overseas to spend considerable time with my wife and me. It was a deeply meaningful year for me.

One of my classmates in the formation program shared an apt image that pictures what I experienced in 2024: “IN A YEAR, YOU HAVE GROWN, OVERCOME, AND BEEN SHAPED BY HIS GRACE”

A Satisfying Weekend

1 November 2024 blogpastor Leave a comment

Day of Prayer: Gift Immeasurable

This past weekend was significant and satisfying. We accompanied participants in a Day of Prayer at Montfort Centre. The retreat theme was “Gift Immeasurable.” Kelvyanne Teoh and Zerah Goh were the retreat facilitators and Chris Joy and Diana Tan were the coordinators. Held at Montfort Centre, this was organized to create opportunities for the formation program graduates to practice what they have learned. We were there to accompany participants and received as much as we gave.

Kenny, Corrine, Eileen, Dawn, Lisa, Sr Bernadetha, Fabiola, Malcolm

The day of prayer was peppered with creative activities that evoked reflections on what we were going through, noticing what we needed and how we could respond to God. For example, there were figurines of people and objects in the centre of each table where the several groups were seated. We were asked to pick one that resonated with us. I chose a tree because that had been a key image for me when I felt drained and inadequate during the latter years of pastoral ministry. In a retreat, I was drawn to a grand old tree. It was rooted deeply and had withstood many a storm. It was old yet provided shelter, home and food to all kinds of birds, insects, and other creeping plants and parasites. The Lord saw me as that tree although I saw myself as worn out and unfruitful. “You are that tree!” I clung to that faith image throughout my dry spell. It helped me through a period of turmoil and near burnout. This strengthening experience of the past flooded my memory and I could feel confidence gradually building up within and replacing the anxiety and inadequacy about the next day’s preaching engagement.

Another activity was to take a postcard-sized picture that spoke to you. It’s like a visio divina instead of a lectio divina. A picture of a path leading through a forest of trees caught my attention and I felt it was an invitation to silence and solitude, to be alone with God and to enjoy his companionship. I am so used to doing things with my wife these days that I wonder if I can be alone with the Lord all day. I also needed to find space in my regular schedule of activities. It has to be a day untouched by any activity. I prayed for grace to overcome these barriers.

Other creative activities, including drawing and making collages helped the participants reflect on their lives, and experience God’s comfort. These reflections often became topics of discussion during their spiritual direction session.

It was a joy to work with my fellow graduates. We were together for a year and nine months of formation and deep sharing. Bonds had been formed and it was pleasant to be in ministry with them. We began at about 8:30 a.m. and ended at about 5:00 p.m. It was a long day but one that was deeply meaningful. Life Direction Singapore organized this. It was the last of the year. I do hope they will continue planning these days of prayer.

Preaching at Rivers of Life Church

Sunday came and I went to preach at Rivers of Life Church, a charismatic church in Henderson. God was gracious. The worship was so anointed and dynamic that I was carried away by rivers of grace and filled with God’s Spirit and power. As I worshipped, my anxieties melted away. As I preached, my faculties were heightened to speak God’s message about “The Sacrifice That Pleases God” based on Leviticus chapter one.

Pastor Andrew Foo of Rivers of Life Church with 99 years old convert

Earlier, the lead pastor Andrew Foo gave certificates to recently baptized candidates. One was a teenager, another was a middle-aged lady, and the third lady had the loudest cheer: an Indian whose age was 99. This is the first time, I have seen someone so old, almost antique, with a reasonable mobility for one that aged. It moved the congregation, as for years they were involved through financial support and practical service in the church’s outreach ministry towards the residents of the nearby rental blocks, and two persons have received Christ and were baptized. Great is your mercy O Lord. You can read more about this church HERE and HERE.