Contemplative prayer

Category: Contemplative prayer

A Year of Pruning and Fruitfulness: Reflecting on 2024

6 January 2025 blogpastor Leave a comment

This has been a satisfying and exciting year for me. If you had asked me earlier in the year, I would not have said so. Upon reflection, I see patterns that give meaning and joy to my journey.

I read my journal leisurely, covering a quarter each time. After reading, I took notes of repetitions, prayers, desires, laments, and anything that stayed on my mind. I noted my reactions, feelings, gratitude, and pain points. After collating these notes, I prayerfully reflected and saw two main themes of what God did in my life in 2024: pruning and fruitfulness. “…every branch that does bear fruit he prunes, that it may bear more fruit” (John 15:2 ESV).

Trials and triumphs

This year has been personally trying for both my wife and me. My wife was in the hospital for 51 days due to a bacterial infection that affected her spine. It required several months of antibiotics and a spine operation for her to be completely well and able to resume her active life. God’s grace was upon us, and the verse that comforted me during my wife’s illness was fulfilled. “When you pass through the waters I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you. When you walk through fire you shall not be burned and the flame shall not consume you” (Isaiah 43:2 ESV). It meant that my wife would go through this difficult trial but would not be harmed and would come out fine. Praise the Lord, that was exactly what happened.

In the third quarter, I experienced several weeks of pain in my right back shoulder and arms. It was so bad in the first few days that I found it difficult to sleep. An X-ray indicated some narrowing of C3, and C4 causing nerve pains. I was given muscle relaxants, plasters, and referrals to a physiotherapist and spine specialist. The stages of my healing went from intense pain to annoying pain to irritation pain to finally vanished pain.

Besides the medicine, there was a spiritual aspect to the healing. “This poor man cried, and the Lord heard him and saved him out of all his troubles” (Psalm 34:6). This poor man also asked many pastor friends and church friends to pray for him. The Lord also gave me a verse that brought me to my knees in contrition. “Before I was afflicted, I went astray, but now I keep your word” (Psalm 119:67). It was a time when the Lord opened my eyes to my sinfulness and poverty. I experienced a mini-revival: “The instructions of the Lord are perfect, reviving the soul” (Psalm 19:7). By the time of my physiotherapy appointment, I was completely pain-free and decided to skip the specialist appointment.

The pruning yielded more fruit. The Lord God is the gardener, and he prunes the branch that bears fruit so that it bears more fruit. My soul was stretched, stitched, healed, and revived. Even amid painful trials, God was present, and I saw his providence, provision, interventions, empowerment, and many answers to prayers.

Fruitful year

I noticed a few answered prayers about the book I was writing. God gave me the grace to edit and sometimes rewrite my draft, professional help to design the book cover, and publishing guidance and assistance from a Tung Ling classmate. My pastor friends read the draft and gave me their comments and endorsements of the book. I was elated at the sudden spurt of progress and saw God’s hand upon it.

I also saw more fruit and expansion in itinerant preaching and spiritual direction. God kept opening doors and giving me opportunities in both of these ministries.

It was a joy to have my adult children and grandchildren return from overseas to spend considerable time with my wife and me. It was a deeply meaningful year for me.

One of my classmates in the formation program shared an apt image that pictures what I experienced in 2024: “IN A YEAR, YOU HAVE GROWN, OVERCOME, AND BEEN SHAPED BY HIS GRACE”

A Satisfying Weekend

1 November 2024 blogpastor Leave a comment

Day of Prayer: Gift Immeasurable

This past weekend was significant and satisfying. We accompanied participants in a Day of Prayer at Montfort Centre. The retreat theme was “Gift Immeasurable.” Kelvyanne Teoh and Zerah Goh were the retreat facilitators and Chris Joy and Diana Tan were the coordinators. Held at Montfort Centre, this was organized to create opportunities for the formation program graduates to practice what they have learned. We were there to accompany participants and received as much as we gave.

Kenny, Corrine, Eileen, Dawn, Lisa, Sr Bernadetha, Fabiola, Malcolm

The day of prayer was peppered with creative activities that evoked reflections on what we were going through, noticing what we needed and how we could respond to God. For example, there were figurines of people and objects in the centre of each table where the several groups were seated. We were asked to pick one that resonated with us. I chose a tree because that had been a key image for me when I felt drained and inadequate during the latter years of pastoral ministry. In a retreat, I was drawn to a grand old tree. It was rooted deeply and had withstood many a storm. It was old yet provided shelter, home and food to all kinds of birds, insects, and other creeping plants and parasites. The Lord saw me as that tree although I saw myself as worn out and unfruitful. “You are that tree!” I clung to that faith image throughout my dry spell. It helped me through a period of turmoil and near burnout. This strengthening experience of the past flooded my memory and I could feel confidence gradually building up within and replacing the anxiety and inadequacy about the next day’s preaching engagement.

Another activity was to take a postcard-sized picture that spoke to you. It’s like a visio divina instead of a lectio divina. A picture of a path leading through a forest of trees caught my attention and I felt it was an invitation to silence and solitude, to be alone with God and to enjoy his companionship. I am so used to doing things with my wife these days that I wonder if I can be alone with the Lord all day. I also needed to find space in my regular schedule of activities. It has to be a day untouched by any activity. I prayed for grace to overcome these barriers.

Other creative activities, including drawing and making collages helped the participants reflect on their lives, and experience God’s comfort. These reflections often became topics of discussion during their spiritual direction session.

It was a joy to work with my fellow graduates. We were together for a year and nine months of formation and deep sharing. Bonds had been formed and it was pleasant to be in ministry with them. We began at about 8:30 a.m. and ended at about 5:00 p.m. It was a long day but one that was deeply meaningful. Life Direction Singapore organized this. It was the last of the year. I do hope they will continue planning these days of prayer.

Preaching at Rivers of Life Church

Sunday came and I went to preach at Rivers of Life Church, a charismatic church in Henderson. God was gracious. The worship was so anointed and dynamic that I was carried away by rivers of grace and filled with God’s Spirit and power. As I worshipped, my anxieties melted away. As I preached, my faculties were heightened to speak God’s message about “The Sacrifice That Pleases God” based on Leviticus chapter one.

Pastor Andrew Foo of Rivers of Life Church with 99 years old convert

Earlier, the lead pastor Andrew Foo gave certificates to recently baptized candidates. One was a teenager, another was a middle-aged lady, and the third lady had the loudest cheer: an Indian whose age was 99. This is the first time, I have seen someone so old, almost antique, with a reasonable mobility for one that aged. It moved the congregation, as for years they were involved through financial support and practical service in the church’s outreach ministry towards the residents of the nearby rental blocks, and two persons have received Christ and were baptized. Great is your mercy O Lord. You can read more about this church HERE and HERE.

Spiritual Direction: What’s Been Happening

23 September 2024 blogpastor Leave a comment

What is spiritual direction

It is not giving direction as in advising people and giving them biblical solutions to what they are seeking. You can get that from pastors, specialized ministers, and counsellors who use guiding questions to help you form your own solutions. It is “spiritual” in that it has to do with your relationship with God, of knowing God and what he is doing and communicating with you through your life experiences. It is “direction” in that the director directs you towards God, to seek and dialogue with God himself for what you are seeking.

I like the descriptions given by Life Direction Singapore (LDS) in its tiny brochure explaining its identity and the meaning of spiritual direction. It describes its identity this way: “Life Direction is an ecumenical community of trained spiritual directors (SD) offering spiritual support and accompaniment to all persons in their faith journey. The SD helps the pilgrim to pay attention to God’s presence in ordinary life experiences and reflections in prayer.”

The brochure then describes spiritual direction: “Spiritual direction is meeting with a trained director to reflect on how God is present and active in your life, and how God might be calling you into a deeper relationship in your everyday experiences. The content of the direction session is simply your life journey: whatever aspect, story or experience you feel moved to bring to prayer and reflection. You the seeker, the spiritual director and the Holy Spirit meet in holy conversation so “you may have life and have it more abundantly.” (John 10:10) The purpose must be a desire to deepen your journey with God as he journeys with you.”

What has happened since the formation program ended

It has been almost a year since I completed my formation program in spiritual direction and went on to accompany others. Thus far, I have found the journey fulfilling. I have learned much from the spiritual direction that I gave to individuals regularly and the supervision I received. In addition, I have learned from providing spiritual direction in a different context – the few short retreats I have been involved in.

SJSM Anglican cell leaders

I led a preached retreat in March 2024 for cell leaders in a zone with St John’s -St Margaret’s Anglican Church. It was a preached retreat and I introduced them to meditative prayer using a few passages with the theme, “Let God Love You”. It was an overnight retreat at Orchid Country Club near the Lower Seletar Reservoir. I could only give each person one session of thirty minutes each. Not the most ideal, but it is what it is. The priest, Rev Vincent Hoon, is a friend of mine who is also trained and experienced and could have conducted it but I suppose it would be wholesome and enriching to have a retreat leader from outside his church. It was a privilege to listen and converse with the committed leaders of the zone he pastors.

Trinity Theological College retreats

In September 2023, soon after we completed the same SD formation course, Seng Chor and I provided support in spiritual direction, as Dr Jimmy Tan led the retreat with Trinity Theological College students who had attended his course. I had written about the retreat HERE. This year, we helped out in a similar retreat with a new batch of seminary students and I was delighted to see one of the church members, Jean Lim (see above) . I found it a privilege and joy to have this opportunity to be fully present to listen and discern what God has been doing in the retreatant’s lives.

The two Dianas – key leaders of the SD formation program

Praying at the threshold Day of Prayer

The Life Direction Singapore continued to form us after the SD formation program. They went the second mile to ensure all the SDs had opportunities to accompany others. They organized days of prayer every few months, creating opportunities for us to accompany the participants who signed up. Each of us could offer ourselves to serve in two of these Days of Prayer.

Recently, I was involved in one. The theme was “Praying At The Threshold”. The purpose was to guide people to pray and ponder during times of transition. These are the in-between times of uncertainty, impatience and anxiety. It was a long day but I enjoyed the whole day of prayer particularly the spiritual direction with the participants assigned to me. It was always my desire to accompany pastors and both men assigned to me were pastors. It was satisfying to hear the takeaways of most of the retreatants. The next Day of Prayer is on the 26th of October. The prayer theme is “Gift Immeasurable”. Lord, bless those who signed up with your loving embrace and surprises.

I now desire to experience accompanying retreatants in silent retreats for a week as I believe it would be an even deeper and more meaningful accompaniment.