Guest preaching at Church of True Light

Guest preaching at Church of True Light during covid 19

The Church of True Light entrance looked unusually quiet. For a moment I thought the church was closed. Oops, I was looking at the wrong doors. Two women were there at the front desk. One greeted me and asked for my name. I said, I am the guest preacher for the English congregation. She checked my temperature, and briskly showed me to the lift.

The worship hall was a welcome sight. They had done modest renovations and the place looked more conducive than before. Later, I found that I sounded good over the microphone. They must have upgraded the PA system too. Wonderful.

A tall, tan Anglican priest with silvered hair welcomed me, and I suddenly felt more at home. I have known Revd Vincent Hoon for close to two decades. We met as strangers put together to share a room in a Love Singapore Pastors Prayer Summit ages ago. We have since become prayer partners through thick and thin; fellow-pilgrims and fellow-servants in the Lord’s vineyard.

I met with their new vicar, Revd Barry, formerly from Marine Parade Anglican Church. He was newly posted to this church. This means he must be effectively bi-lingual. Later, at the end of the service, they showed a superbly done video introduction of him, and he came off as someone with confident, decisive, humorous and authentic. The former vicar, Revd Winston had retired, and as in any change of leadership, much prayer and patience and grace is needed in order that God’s purposes be fulfilled by His man in that new season the church is in.

With some curiosity, I took a selfie to see how I look like beside the priests there. I look like some lau hero in a movie about containment of some infectious disease. I cannot say I felt like one when it was my turn to mount the stage and take the pulpit. It felt awkward. I chose a lapel mike. The crowd was sparse with thirty plus folks, and a battery of young adults at the end where the equipment for live-streaming and sound control were. Evidently, the Chinese services would be starting physical gatherings soon and were there to learn how to operate the equipment. So speaking to this disparate groups seated apart from each other except for couples felt different. “Are they listening to me?” I asked myself, as I felt a bit of nervousness. “Am I getting through?” As I reached the final third point I panicked because I realised I had missed a whole chunk of explanation in the second point. Since it was live-streamed I needed to keep it concise to 20 – 30 minutes, I had been reminded earlier. “Doesn’t matter…just carry on. The Lord is able to work with mistakes like this. He will make good come out of it.” Sometimes, people feel relief with short sermons. Hope that at least it is the case here.

The service began at 9am and ended at about 10am. Is this the “new normal”?

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Leaders’ Planning Retreat during covid 19

Our usual two days Leader’ Planning Retreat every September would have been held in Johor, Malaysia. Its just across the Causeway about 3 hours drive from Singapore. The program is packed full and I would be wasted at the end of it. But enter covid 19 and things had to change. We would not be able to go across to Johor. Even if we could, it would be unlikely that we would go across. We simply dropped our reservation without any penalty.

So we are doing it in Singapore over Zoom plus. What is the plus? The plus is for those who wish to meet physically in the church facility with strict safeguards as required by the government. So there will be zooming for the main sessions and breakout rooms for three congregations and later for ministries/departments. Everything is done over a Saturday beginning at 11.45am with a zoom lunch together. What’s that? We eat our food over Zoom and have small talk and side glances. We have our planning in various modes: all three congregation leaders together, break into congregations, break into groups etc., until we conclude by 6 pm. This is followed by another meeting two weeks later.

How do I feel about it? Well its convenient – cutting out all the commute of travel. It saves time and hassle. What is there to complain? However, I think it lacks the element of relational dynamics, and the stability and solidity of human and physical interaction. Leadership is influence and influence is relational more than structural. It calls for full bodied communications – not just head and shoulders on a box on a laptop screen. After all we communicate most effectively with our whole body. I mean screen share is a good tool but the full body language is better. We say so much more with being physically present. But we have no choice. We make do with what we have, and what we can. As my predecessor pastor Johney used to quip, “When you do not have your real teeth, use false teeth.” In this age, there are no perfect solutions and conditions – we live in a broken world. Accept it and live with it, and get on with the Lord’s presence strengthening us.

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What do you plan to do after retirement?

What will you do after retirement? I am beginning to get more questions like this. Maybe it is because I announced it officially on our 48th church anniversary service, and I have talked about this with friends for some time now.

It is not an easy question to answer. It is not easy because I really do not have any plans. And I usually would have some plans. After all, I am Singaporean. Not this time though. I am determined to leave God with a blank page and let Him fill it at His divine pleasure and leisure. When I last thought of quitting, I had a logical plan of what I will do in the next chapter of my life albeit in broad strokes. It is unlike me to have to say, No I have no plans. I am going to give God a blank page, wait on Him, and let Him fill it at His leisure. I will wait patiently on God. “For You alone O Lord my soul waits in silence, from Him is my salvation” (Ps 62.1).

I don’t want to be thought of as irresponsible or over-spiritual or impractical – so heavenly minded that I am of no earthly use. It’s my pride, I suppose. I want to look good, smart and responsible – a good and faithful steward. If I had a sensible and inspiring five year plan to rattle off in an elevator speech – people would think, He really thought it through. He is so thorough. They would envy me. To say, I have no plans except to rest and wait till the Lord add to my empty plate at His leisure, is risky. My church friends and colleagues will say, When are you going to help us? We need you to fill this gap and that gap! This is tough – to be not helping when my help is needed. To even be misunderstood by my own church colleagues and friends, if God is silent for a long time. What if the pages remain blank for months? I don’t want to be forgotten. I don’t want to be seen as unhelpful. Lord help me to say, “No I have no plans”, when people ask me THAT question. Give me Your grace and power.

This is not a retirement rule for all believers but it is for me because God is inviting me to live this way – without a certain and sure plan. It could be called the Abrahamic plan. Maybe for you, a detailed or rough plan is a necessity and that may be His intention for you. Not for me this time round. We are all unique, and are all developing in different areas of our life, and God is moving us towards wholeness in different ways. For me trusting God’s providence with my future, without any visible regular support or ministry plans is what God wants to develop in me. In a pastorate, this was an issue in the beginning – the need for faith for finances. But this has not been the case since my children graduated and went on to have jobs. The acute need for finances has ceased for many years.

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