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Invited to Song of Songs

15 November 2019 blogpastor Leave a comment

Song of Songs. That prompting is so slight, so silk, I could have ignored it. But I did not and am thankful for following it. I figured that perhaps it may be the means through which my main prayer for my sabbatical, a deeper love for Jesus, may get answered. I personally find this Old Testament book forbidding. I am very much left-brained, and appreciating the Song of Songs is a right-brained activity. It’s like appreciating the poetic lyrics of a popular love song. This is outside my comfort zone. Which is good because at the later part of life we should be moving towards wholeness and wellness, and taking on new frontiers in learning.

I began listening to YouTube videos on appreciating poems and writing and interpreting poems. I listened to David Pawson give an overview of the book. I saved Mike Bickle’s talks on the book. I listened to audio readings of the book. I bought a book titled Love of Loves by Philip Riken, and this week I started to savour the text and talk to the Lord from it. I am excited because the Lord is making the song come alive. I hope it is awakening my love for the Lord. It is making me aware of God’s loving action towards me, His many kisses of love through the many gifts He showered on me. Yes Lord kiss me again and again, till passionate love is awakened in me again, and joy overflows from receiving Your love.

Colonoscopy peace

5 November 2019 blogpastor Leave a comment

I had a colonoscopy done. I entered the hospital with peace of mind. I had occasional reminders to not take things for granted even though both my parents were cancer-free. After all, cancer can happen to anyone. So the “what if they find tumours?” question surfaced a few times. And routine medical procedures can get messy through a surgeon’s mistakes. Each time such anxious thoughts surface, I had to commit the matter into the Lord’s loving care.

Life is unpredictable but we who trust in the Lord can walk around with a serene and smiling face because we are secure in God’s love.

I did not like the idea of colonscopy. Why allow intrusion into your body when all is fine? As they say, Do not trouble trouble lest trouble troubles you! My wife had done the colonscopy and kept encouraging me to do so. Since I am almost 64, it is a good time to do a check up.

Ng Teng Fong General Hospital is 5 minutes from home so I had the examination done there. Everything went smoothly and painlessly. I remembered feeling a slight embarassment as female nurses in businesslike voices and brisk movements prompted me into a fetal (not fatal, thank God) posture. This is very awkward, being introduced to strangers from the backside. “Your name and i.c. number?” I answered the question, and soon I lost consiousness (and embarassment) in the examination theatre.

The next thing I knew was gently regaining consciousness in the preparation room, feeling that I want to sleep there forever because I felt so drowsy and it felt so comfortable.

The results were later given to me in an envelope with photographs of a clean colon. Praise the Lord.

Sabbatical reflection

30 October 2019 blogpastor Leave a comment

It has been a month since my sabbatical began. I feel better rested physically and psychologically. Longer hours of sleep, exercise, and disengagement from pastoral duties does wonders. Being overseas helped too because you became unavailable physically.

I also feel thankful for the many blessings of God. Never thought of touring Spain, never was interested. But in pursuing the kingdom, in seeking rest and restoration, I ended up in Spain, beginning in San Sebastian and ending in Barcelona, staying at many towns and cities along the way, in Basque and Catalonia regions, often walking in the streets and countryside. I love silent retreats, silence and solitude. I love hiking. And I was blessed by Ignatius Spiritual Exercises and spirituality. All these three elements that nourishes me were present in this sabbatical program. What a blessed trinity!

This was followed by a vacation and catch up time with Mike and Amy in Bolton. They were very gracious and availed themselves to us for five days. We had significant time catching up usually over meals – restaurant, home-cooked and takeaways. It was around 7 to 18 degree centigrade with gloomy clouds and rain on quite a few days. This restricted our plans but it meant more rest, early to bed and late to rise. It was a contrast to the Camino Ignaciano– late to bed, early to rise.

Now I am glad to be back home. I feel relieved. Spanish and English food and weather are good – for a while, usually tolerable for two weeks or so, in my experience. I like Singapore. I like the smells, tastes, sights of home.

I don’t like the haze though. This morning, I saw the haze and told my wife, “Thank God that in the last three weeks, we were away overseas breathing fresh mountain and countryside air”.

I had an inspired thought this morning as I reflected on how to use the rest of my sabbatical wisely: treat each day as you would a sabbath day with an eye on REMEMBRANCE (spiritual nourishment), REST (physical and emotional self-care), RELISH (life-giving engagement and activities).

“Lord, help me do this and experience more of your love.”