Weddings during covid 19

I have twenty days of leave to clear. Covid 19 made it impossible to travel and my annual leave was mostly untouched. But then I still had remaining work to clear, an office full of books, documents and stuff to clear. Last week was a case in point. I had two weddings and an outside speaking engagement.

This meant I had to do two wedding rehearsals: one at the bride’s Toa Payoh Methodist Church, and one via zoom, since it was held in the home. Two different weddings but both on Saturdays, one in the morning and one in the evening. One for guests of about 100, and the other, limited to about 10 guests.

Covid 19 has really put the plans of many couples into a tailspin or on hold. Originally it was for 10, then 50, then a 100. I cannot even remember the numbers. It was stressful for all who planned weddings during this period. Many had no choice but to postpone their weddings. Others went ahead with their plans but with a reduction in the number of guests. All are disappointed because what could have been their dream wedding turned into a migraine.

Thankfully the solemnisation I conducted was after the authorities increased the number of guests who could attend the wedding. There were of course the usual safety measures: masks, social distancing, temperature taking, registration, groups of 50s separated by a few metres, keep the wedding short, and no singing nor buffet permitted. The wedding went like clockwork from beginning to end, yet remained cosy and special and happy.

We were given a bento box and Ark Coffee to take away. There was enough to feed myself and my wife. Generous portions and quality stuff. There was even choices: vegetarian, Peranakan, and Western. I took the Western bento as I have been having too much spicy stuff of late. Enjoyed it.

The evening wedding was also special. Beautiful white blooms framed the whole event. Only close relatives, a pair of friends and a pair of dogs in attendance. The limits is due to the constraints of space in an apartment. The whole thing was live-streamed to all their friends and relatives to as far as Indonesia, as the bride’s family are Indonesians. It was a civil ceremony but I added the Blessing Song, some reading of scriptures from 1 Corinthians 13 and a prayer of blessing on the couple. This wedding was relaxed and intimate being held in the new home of the now newly married couple.

After the wedding, I was happy to call it a day and return home to reflect on the day and feel satisfied. One of the joys of pastoral ministry is doing solemnizations.

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Grieving about retirement

In the early months of this year, I was looking forward to retirement. I looked forward to being free from the burdens and pressures of pastoral ministry. Forty years in the same church is a lengthy term of service and I do feel weary and tired towards the end. I was also curious to see what my spirituality would look like without ministry to drive or shape it. I want to be a child of God period. So it was something I was anticipating with some relish.

However, recently I have come to notice something of a sadness that seem undetectable, under the radar, like background music in the shopping malls. It is there but I am oblivious to it. Until someone mentions about the music, or I am waiting without any cares, I wouldn’t be aware of the music. This almost imperceptible sadness has stayed unnoticed in me for some time. I even thought it was some kind of spiritual dryness. I am still unsure. I need to further reflect on this with the Lord.

It is highly probable because when anyone experience losses like what happens at retirement – the person goes through the various stages of loss: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and finally acceptance. Like it or not, retirement is a form of loss: loss of the job satisfaction it gives and a shared life with friends and colleagues; loss of respect and appreciation you enjoyed, and a defined role in the community; the loss of income and medical benefits, and a stable rhythm of work, rest and play. I am sure more can be listed (feel free to add to this list in the comment, if you wish).

Last week I had my final staff meeting with the Mandarin congregation(see above picture). Yesterday, I had my final meeting with the English congregation staff. Today, I wrap up my final zoom meeting with the Deaf congregation staff. What is left is the Board of Elders, and the Senior Pastor’s Office meetings. It was like saying “Goodbye” to these places of joy and hope, ambiguity and difficulty. On the whole, more good things happened in these places than bad. So I praise the Lord for the opportunity to serve in this way in “committees”, though I wouldn’t want to be in them in future, unless the Lord insists, which He wouldn’t. Like I told the church, I don’t want to be in the organization chart, but I am still in the organism and community chart.

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My online teaching setup

Teaching by zoom requires some equipment. I began with just a laptop. When I received feedback that my voice was not clear, I used a Bose Soundsport wireless earphone. But it wasn’t consistent because it was wireless. So I finally settled for a Samsung wired earphone, the kind that comes packaged with your mobile device. No more complaints – so I stuck with this.

Then I wanted the zoom class to see more of my body not just my head, since communications can be improved with fuller expressions that includes the upper body, arms and hands. So I bought the classic Logitec C920 webcam (below $200) that has a wider lens. In future, this could be used for recording with my laptop. But I need time to watch YouTube videos and learn how to do this. One for when I have more time and desire.

However, shadows on the face with bright backgrounds is not pleasant to watch on screen, especially for long stretches. So I bought a LED light on a stand for less than $20.

As you can see, one thing led to another, and as you try to solve a problem, more purchases of equipment are made, little by little. I even bought a laptop stand to elevate the laptop for a less distorted view. But my daughter uses it for her work, so I settled for some Tupperware storage box, where I keep all my smaller online recording equipment.

I wonder if I will end up purchasing more and better equipment as I progress, or will all this stuff become white elephants.

What about you? Have you purchased any equipment because of the “new normal”? Any equipment to recommend me to improve what I am currently using?

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